Prof is Getting Married: A Groom’s Perspective Part 3

suit–This is the third and final volume from Prof about his Wedding.  For Parts 1 and 2, click here.–

So here we are, boys and girls, down to the wire, a mere 11 days away (and counting) from my Big Day. While I was calm at the close of the last edition, it couldn’t have been more than a day or two before the stress and worry set in. It’s probably true of every wedding but it was quite suddenly that there seemed to be a million things to do, most relatively small in scale, but their sheer multitude and the steadily eroding time began to creep up on me in the stillest of moments when I lay down to sleep at night. Small details to check on, people to call or text or otherwise touch base with, things to order and/or construct, and others still to browse. We work busy and often opposite schedules so finding the time to accomplish things together was a significant obstacle. But I am happy to report that the wave of stress has receded and though it will be a busy week and a half, we are ready and eager.

The Rings

One of the biggest areas of stress was our not having shopped for our rings with under a month to go. The turnaround time on jewelry can be somewhat lengthy and being the procrastinators that we are by nature it was a detail we left until much too late in our planning process. We then spent a couple long days together bouncing between jewelry locations, hitting all the major chains and a few department stores, refining our tastes but never finding the correct final choice for either of us. I’ll only speak for myself in this regard, given that this is ‘A Groom’s Perspective’, but the ring selection process was more difficult than I anticipated. I am not much of a jewelry wearer but I am also not the type of man to choose something plain, as those who know me might expect. I explored different colors, metals, rings with diamonds, knowing that I wanted something with subtle style, something mundane and natural enough that I’d be comfortable wearing everyday but unique just the same. If I’m going to wear something for the rest of my life it’s going to be perfect, a standard that seemed less and less achievable in our time crunch. But with 13 days to go we both discovered our rings at separate small, family-owned, high quality stores, each of whom took extra care and effort to have our rings available in time for our Big Day. I won’t say much about hers, but a quick shout-out is due to Trends Jewelers in Raynham, for finding the perfect ring to suit my Beloved. But MINE… mine is just awesome and it’s due to the lovely folks at Attleboro Jewelers that I was able to get what I wanted, in my price range, extra rushed from Canada to be placed on my finger October 18th. My deepest gratitude to Nancy and Ashley and my highest recommendations to you, dear readers, to visit them right in the center of downtown Attleboro – individually-crafted quality and service second to none!

With that said, I probably shouldn’t do it but… you guys want to see a picture of my ring?

CLICK HERE for the ring, an Elton John song, and Bestmen tattoos…

Justice Practices Listening In My Existence…

street cleaningGood morning! Great, now the niceties are out of the way. There is no doubt I have been reckless in my life, maybe a bit impetuous and lately it’s designed insubordination. I have had the profound blessing of being able to teach at different schools, learn from different cultures, and observe a variety of neighborhoods and their mindsets and/or rules and allowances.

Lately, I’ve had the honor of being in Roslindale and Hyde Park. Now from the outset they might not appear different, but they are quite different from say, my beloved Dorchester and Mattapan. And the ways in which they are different are quite sneaky and scary. You see, I’ve made calls this entire week to my city councillor’s office and I’ve realized yet again while they are trying to help, Dorchester and the like don’t have advocates like a Hyde Park.

Why doesn’t Hyde Park have street cleaning? Who deems which streets deserve to be cleaned? And the deservedness is clearly a favor in form of punishment because ALL towns should have their street cleaned, otherwise it’s not nice, it’s an arbitrary obligation thrust upon an entire neighborhood. I’m tired of paying for other people’s assumptions and I can’t help but raise the question, why only the inner city? We’re not necessarily dirtier than others because I see despicable streets in Hyde Park. Why are there no street cleaning signs in Roslindale, West Roxbury, or Hyde Park? I raise the question in absolute curiosity and fairness. The above picture is of a corner in Hyde Park where there would be a street cleaning sign in an ‘urban’ neighborhood is all I can say.

Furthermore, the street cleaning apparatus does a wonderful job of pushing trash around and leaving a horrible smell, so who are we kidding? Do you need qualifications to ride it? Does anyone but a white driver drive them? I am open to debate and the possibility of being wrong. As of right now actually, I encourage it. I will be waging a campaign against the legitimacy and equity involved in where and why they street clean. I sincerely hope you join me in my quest to eradicate street cleaning for good. Clean your area. C’mon, you can do it!!

If you really wanna help, please call the Boston City Council office at 617-635-3040 and ask them about the why and specifically where of street cleaning practices. Thank you!

Seven Times 63: Faith, Forgiveness, and Love

“Forgiveness made me free from hatred. I still have many scars on my body and severe pain most days but my heart is cleansed. Napalm is very powerful, but faith, forgiveness, and love are much more powerful. We would not have war at all if everyone could learn how to live with true love, hope, and forgiveness. If that little girl in the picture can do it, ask yourself: Can you?”
-Phan Thi Kim Phuc

More powerful than napalm
It looks into the hearts of all, even those presumed wicked
And allows release

It is not the nihilist cipher, nor is it a dreamer’s play
But rather the nock that guides the arrows of a man’s life
Towards a bullseye of truth

Andrew Borne is 2 Cups Poet 1 teaspoon Musician 1/4 teaspoon Salt 1/2 cup Absurdity 3/4 cup Chef 1 egg, beaten 2 1/3 cups Family Man. Mixed together and served raw. His column appears weekly in Oddball Magazine.

oddball and lime together @ www.JPLimeProductions.com6

Prof’s Political Ponderings

Prof soloI can feel it again, the same as in 2007, I can feel the spirit of Change in the air and on the airwaves. But I am not filled with the same Hope that I was then, believing that the time of the imperialist Neo-Conservatives was coming to an end, stepping us further away from the cliff of international isolationism. Anyone who knows me knows I am a passionate Obama-ite, always believing in his desire to improve our country even if I don’t agree with every measure. When Scholar and I wrote “Ready 4 a Change” we were attempting to capture a feeling we felt was ubiquitous and when Obie was elected in 2008 I remember feeling that we were headed somewhere new and progressive as a nation. I still believe that there is much President Obama could have accomplished if not for the bitter hatred held by his opposition from the beginning (read: lightly veiled racism). I now see him in a new light, the rock against which the tide was to break, exposing the vileness within the political Right, bringing termites like the Tea Party to the surface and eventually causing the implosion of what feigns for American Conservatism in the modern age. This week House Speaker John Boehner announced his resignation amidst cries that even he was not conservative enough for the extremist Right. And as the GOP tears at its own skin in search of leadership it exposes its own lack of cohesion. With the scent of Change wafting and then swirling, I can’t help but wonder, “What comes next?” Is the dystopian President Trump future somehow an inevitable dark cloud that must descend, showing us our own horrific reflection before the US is remade into a Columbian visionary state? Must we first get worse before we get better? Is there anyone with their hand on the wheel or are we all just aboard a boisterous, blow-hard Ship of Fools sailing toward the Falls?

From opposite sides but amidst the same shitstorm Obama and Boehner have now both become (for different lengths of time) lame duck activists. What does this say about who the real enemies of progress are?

One of the biggest things that always strikes me when listening to those running for and/or holding public office is the abundance of pointing out problems and a lack of solutions. No one knows what to do about immigration, for example. It is an issue intrinsically tied to our economy, and while many folks can find ideological reasonings to take issue with our immigrant population there are few who actually have any conceived solution to bringing order to the process.

And that to me is so much of my problem with the Right. It’s not that some conservative principles wouldn’t be helpful and provide balance, it’s that all the pent-up anger and selfishness in the world doesn’t add up to practical solutions and is therefore useless and solely self-serving. You can yell about the deficit until you’re red in the face (Red in the States) but refusing to acknowledge the real causes, forestalling the government for petty partisan politics and spending more time slinging mud than brainstorming for answers, is even more short-sighted than it is puerile. If I were to ever run for office I think I’d take on the simple slogan, “Less problems, More solutions”. If you don’t have a proposed solution then you don’t get to waste our time and attention pontificating on the problem, you just have to shut the fuck up. Iran stands as one of the most powerful nations in the world, in a region of great turmoil and change. Yet there are those who are angered by our engagement with the Iran Nuclear Deal, flabbergasted and disgusted that we would even negotiate with such an entity. But such arguments are constructed out of fear and anger, not sound political policy with an eye on the future. Demand a better deal, they say. –What kind of better deal? – Oh, uh, I have no idea, I’m just saying… -nope, you shut the fuck up.

Carly Fiorina came out this week to say that waterboarding in the War on Terror arrests kept us safer, despite the fact that there is no evidence to support that statement and considerable time spent in this report to say that almost nothing of value was learned during these and other torture sessions. And while I have obvious ethical problems with the condoned use of torture, the bigger issue is again the short-sightedness, the willful ignorance. Had we come out of the second Gulf War having subdued the international militant extremism that we called Terror, the World may have looked at us a true warriors for good, doing what is necessary, even when it is not easy. But real power comes from knowing what the fuck you’re doing and while the US wishes it was still the world’s policeman, we no longer command or deserve a presence above that of a schoolyard bully. We are foolish and foolhardy (which are different), wandering into fights we don’t comprehend, smacking people who we don’t bother to know or understand in the face and expecting them to bow down to our fat-ass, gun-toting “’Merica!” rally cries. We are willfully stupid. There are some who actually believe that other places in the world hate us because they “hate Freedom”, rather than because we walk around like a country with its hairy, average-sized dick hanging out, half-drunk thinking we’re the sexiest guy at the party (in a socio-political metaphoric sense, of course).

What I yearn for is a moderate, progressive liberal, one to quell the notion that we pinkos are trying to steal the country while pushing forward with the forced social evolution this nation so desperately needs. We need someone who will dream big but play rough and do some house-cleaning before embarking on the next social change mission. The Left will never be trusted if we continue to act like a kid with our first credit card and lack a sense of cohesive vision. We cannot be only reactionary, though the hate machine does make a formidable foe against which to be on constant defense. We need to find smart, economically practical and growth-inducing ways to push the tide of renewable energy. We need to construct a stronger foreign policy, one bent on changing the US’s international image as well as domestically educating ourselves to our role in the 21st century.

And then there’s the mass shootings, this week at Oregon Community College where 10 victims were claimed and 7 people injured. Many folks are going to be angry at President Obama for “politicizing” the tragedy and I’ve even counted myself in that number before, able to see the claimed insensitivity that comes from proposing legislative action only hours after an incident, appearing to be more interested in political gain than personal sympathy. But I rescind that position today as I realize that it is already a political issue in nature, especially given the fact that we are the only nation on the planet where these shootings regularly occur and most often performed by American citizens, not visitors. If any of these school shootings were instead proven terrorist attacks performed by an outsider to our country we’d have an enraged populace immediately clamoring for social and political action. We’d have cries for tougher immigration standards, new and aggressive foreign policy initiatives, and other measures to make sure such a tragedy never occurs again. But when it comes to the issue of American citizens and their “God-given” right to have guns as laid out in the Constitution, half of our citizenry turns a blind eye to measures that alter our violent landscape, claiming that such occurrences are simply one of the costs of Freedom. “Guns don’t kill people, people kill people,” goes the ridiculous axiom, easy to utter but willfully ignorant of a firearm’s capacity and purpose. Cars don’t kill people either but you get the wrong drunken asshole behind the wheel and you’ve got a 2-ton killing machine

I’m not a proponent of eliminating guns. I have been to gun ranges a handful of times and I think that learning how to properly use one is a good life skill, just like learning to swim, knowing how to change a tire, and learning the basics of how to fight. When and if the time comes that you have to use a gun, not knowing what you’re doing leaves you incredibly vulnerable. Guns are tools used for a specific and powerful purpose (i.e. killing) and yet we in the US treat them like some kind of toy for adults, eagerly buying the biggest instruments of death we can to account for our tiny libido. We are cavalier about them, often Plaxico’ing ourselves in the knee, foot, or balls because we believe carrying a weapon in our waistband makes us tough and unstoppable. If the Founding Fathers had any idea we’d be carrying around the 21st century equivalent of a ship’s cannon, able to kill a crowd in a few seconds, I’d wager they may have re-worded the Second Amendment. No citizen needs an assault rifle, yet we just file that under “’Merica” and “Freedom” when the debate begins. We are rather sickening in our willful ignorance.

I don’t know where we are headed next or who will lead us but I can smell the Change in the air. And it smells like gunsmoke and hate-mongering, not progress.

Hispanic Heritage Month – Gracias Puerto Rico

For all my Spanish language readers and in honor of Hispanic Heritage Month here’s an old poem I dug up that expresses my Puerto Rican Pride called Gracias Puerto Rico Disfruten.


Boricua hasta la muerte…

Gracias, Dios por esta suerte…

Por mi isla de Palmas verde….

Isla increible como su gente…

La Isla del encanto…

Realmente un lugar santo…

Aunque no te vivo, te amo tanto…

Desde mi corazon te canto….

De las montañas de Ciales…

O las playas del Morro…

Tu Sol es mas brilloso que su oro…

Tus mangos ricos, como su arroz con pollo…

Comidas y vistas, lo tienes todo…

De ti, Borinquen tengo tanto orgullo….

Aunque lo que se de usted, no satisfecha mi gusto…

Conosco mi Español, mi Africano, y mi Taino…

Se que te amo, te respiro, y te vivo…

Sere Boricua despues de la muerte…

Gracias a Dios y a mi Isla por esta maravillosa suerte…


Click here for more HISPANIC HERITAGE MONTH content.


Rap Flashback, September Edition

This month’s Rap History lesson features releases from Ice-T, de la Soul, and Ras Kass, a look at Kanye and 50’s 2007 sales battle, and Happy Hip Hop Birthday shouts-out to Rap’s September babies.  PRESS PLAY below for a look into Hip Hop’s fabled past with the one-of-a-kind Rap Flashback.

Catch up on past episodes of the Rap Flashback by checking out the archive here .

Hispanic Heritage Month – Hip Hop

(Note: This post was originally published on Oct. 1st, 2012 and has been revised slightly since) 

As Hispanic Heritage Month (Sept. 15th – Oct. 15th) reaches its midway point, it’s fitting to recognize the influence of Latinos on Hip Hop culture.  In no way meant to discredit or minimize African American influence on Hip Hop’s roots and subsequent rise to Pop culture prominence, it’s important to also acknowledge the significance and roles of Hispanic Americans in such.  The purpose of this blog is to in some small way capture just that.

Rap’s origins are debatable; some go as far back as thousands of years, citing West African griots who rhythmically told stories over drums and simple handmade instruments as the earliest examples of Rap.  Others point to African American slaves incorporating call and response technique (a fixture of early Rap music that’s still utilized today) at church congregations as the birth of Rap’s form.  Many even credit Muhammad Ali as the first rapper because he used pre-fight poetry to psych out his opponents and predict his victories; rhyming to intimidate the competition in a battle; sounds like Hip Hop, no?



While all valid points, for the purpose of this piece we’ll go with a more current time-frame; the 1970s and 80s.  Rap music and Hip Hop culture as it exists today was birthed by young people living in poor, urban communities in New York.  Block parties, breakdancing, graffiti, Adidas sweats and shell toe sneakers, B-Boys, Kangol hats, thick gold chains, battle rapping, iambic pentameter rhymes over heavy drum kits, turntablism, and scratching all came to fruition as staples of early Hip Hop culture in the 70s and early 80s in New York’s boroughs.  It was at this point that the movement began to steadily spread across the country and eventually evolve into the force we know today.

LatinHiphopMy larger point in pointing this out is that while it’s undeniable that African American culture drove this movement, it’s also undeniable that Latinos lived in these same burroughs where Rap music and Hip Hop culture came to be.  As such, Latinos participated in the movement; and not just by partying to and purchasing the music.  Hispanic Americans were some of the earliest B-Boys, DJs, break-dancers, and emcees.  As the music continued to grow into the 90s and beyond, Latino participation not only diversified its style, it helped expand Hip Hop culture and grow the business of Rap.  The emergence of Reggaeton (stylistically and lyrically rooted in Hip Hop; a blog for another day) as an international musical force and the meteoric rise of Pitbull (1st heard on LIl’ Jon’s 2002 release ‘Kings of Crunk’) speak to these points.

As the title of Ice T’s Hip Hop documentary, ‘Something From Nothing: The Art of Rap’ suggests, the beauty of Hip Hop is that it pulls from many different styles, sounds, cultures, and influences to literally create something powerful out of thin air.  That said, the following is a by no means exhaustive list of artists, dancers, groups, producers, and players in Hip Hop with Hispanic roots, with some accompanying fun facts and personal thoughts where applicable.  My hope is that at least a few out there will learn something, listen to some new tunes, gain a new found sense of pride in their heritage, and look at Hip Hop through a much wider lens.

DJ Disco Wiz (Puerto Rican American) – is credited as being the 1st Latino Hip-Hop DJ.  Partnered w/ the legendary Grandmaster Caz (aka DJ Cassanoval Fly), Wiz was known for his aggressive battle style of DJing.  Wiz is also credited for being the 1st DJ to make a ‘mixed plate’ in 1977 when he combined sound bites, special effects, and paused beats, something that no one had done before that time.


DJ Charlie Chase (Puerto Rican American) – co-founder of ‘The World Famouse Cold Crush Brothers’, the first Rap group signed by CBS Records. Charlie got his first movie roll playing himself in the first Hip Hop movie ever made, the cult hit ‘Wild Style’ – a must-see for any Hip Hop purist.



Prince Markie Dee (Puerto Rican American) – lead emcee of the legendary ‘Fat Boys’ (originally known as ‘The DiscoPrince-Markie-Dee 3′) who would go on to write and produce hits for such artists as Mary J. Blige, Mariah Carey, Craig Mack, Destiny’s Child, Shabba Ranks, Marc Anthony, and Lisa Stanfield.  On a personal notes, the Fat Boys were my first favorite Rap group (since supplanted by Bone Thugs & Harmony), and despite my playing their tapes and watching their videos growing up I never made the connection that Prince Markie Dee was Hispanic until the late 90s – go figure.  I was fortunate enough to see them at a concert that featured the likes of Run DMC, DJ Jazzy Jeff & The Fresh Prince, and Public Enemy back in the late 80s and despite their hefty body types, they brought the house down.  Do yourself a favor an check out their music if you’re not familiar with it; the beats are funky, the rhymes are a bit more advanced than you’d expect for an 80s group, and Buffy, the Human Beatbox is simply amazing to hear.



Kid Frost (Mexican American) – dropped ‘Hispanic Causing Panic’ in 1990, firmly and forever entrenching a West Coast Latino presence in Hip Hop.  The title of his lead single alone, ‘La Raza’ left no doubt that Frost wasn’t just a Latino making Rap music, but an artist using Rap music to represent and offer a Latino perspective to Hip Hop’s landscape. (

Cypress Hill (Mexican American / Cuban descent) – building on the foundation that Kid Frost layed, Cypress Hill, hailing from South Gate, CA was the first Latino Hip Hop group to go both platinum and multi-platinum.  To date they’ve sold over 18 million records world-wide.  I had the pleasure of seeing them perform circa 2006 and people went nuts when they came out for their set.  On the strength of great music as well as being avid proponents of a certain <cough> plant, these guys have built very strong and well-deserved cult-following. (

Cypress Hill


Prof is Getting Married: A Groom’s Perspective Part 2

invitations @

—This is the second volume by Prof about his upcoming nuptials. To catch up on Part I, click here.—

Welcome back, wedding fans- the Big Day fast approaches! The countdown on the white board in my kitchen has officially reached 30 days, placing me exactly ONE MONTH from my biggest life progression and grandest party and the time seems to move faster with each passing day. It was not long ago, it seems, that my fiancée and I were wandering blissfully through our long engagement, envisioning and Pinning ideas and thinking about how it might come to be. Now it is crunch time, with a considerable list of tasks still to be handled. The signs and elements of our big day are scattered across our apartment and even as I write this one of my other tasks for today is to get to work on our Lyric Lantern centerpieces that sit in front of my desk. It’s something we wanted from the beginning, a DIY approach that used as many of the resources already available to us in our social circles as possible, both for the purposes of keeping costs low and to give us the personal, quirky touches that we feel define us. While it’s added considerably to the work to be done, it has made me confident that our day will be just what we envision.


We had an idea for quite a while that we wanted our invitations to be styled like a concert ticket. We had first seen the idea on Pinterest in our early stages of wedding planning with some that were full color like a modern festival, some that were more vintage with elegant scrolling. The RSVP portion would be perfect as the tear-away “stub” of the ticket and it was well-suited to our theme of “a Rock ‘n Roll Fairy Tale with Dinner and Dancing”. When it came time to choose and order the invitations, though, we encountered two issues. First, the ones we had Pinned, ornate and interesting, generally cost a good deal more than we wanted to pay. And secondly, we didn’t find any that featured the level of personal modification that we wanted, most of them changing little other than our names and dates. So with our options limited and our timeline for sending the invitations narrowing, we elected to design and print our own:
invitation front

invitation back
We’ve gotten a great response so far, our small touches and jokes not lost on our fellow revelers. We did order the envelopes from Zazzle, styling the scrolling to match our design and adding our own quote from ‘Alice in Wonderland’:
“Actually, the best gift you could have given her was a lifetime of adventure…”
Though we ended up right at the 6-week mark for getting them sent, I can proudly say that people will officially be coming to our Wedding. Yay guests!

Both this time of year and this period in our lives are filled with marital celebrations, many of our family and friends also beginning their own journeys. We’ve been attending one wedding a month since June and as we do it’s impossible to not compare what those couples have done against what you want for your own day. We recently went to a wedding for a couple of AJ’s high school friends, held at a summer camp in Maine. The sprawling grounds made the perfect setting for their large, boisterous group of friends, with swimming, boating, lawn games, plenty of on-site lodging (rustic, to be sure) and a camp fire that went until 3 am. In line with the summer camp in the woods atmosphere, the groom and his father had fashioned decorations from this beautiful white birch, including candle-holders and plate chargers. As we cleaned up the next day the bride’s mother informed us that the birch would soon become campfire fodder and if we wanted any as decoration for our own celebration to take whatever we wanted. We gladly accepted, taking home a wide variety including several long pieces that my brother and I will be using to build our arbor! There is a poetic element to that for me, the wood living on in different forms, donated by a friend and fashioned by one of my best men to arch over our ceremony.
Will we be able to turn this:
birch for arbor
Into this?
Stay tuned!

A Groom’s Perspective

It may seem an odd note to come from a Groom’s Perspective but I am often struck by Brides’ wedding makeup..
Honeymoon in the Big Easy and more, READ ON…

Are You Ready for Some Freakin’ Football??

Hey folks, Marky D here, host of The Massholes, Boston’s official cable access home for sports and etceteras. You can catch our fine program every Tuesday night before Sully has to go to supper where we talk about the Pats, the C’s, the B’s, even the god-awful Sox (God Bless Jason Varitek!), pretty much whatever sport you want. Except Soccer, Sully says as I type this, the game’s worldwide popularity simply baffles him.

Brady roarThis week it’s all about the greatest game on God’s green Earth, the sport of Kings, the game of War, the hallowed tradition holding such names as Flutie, Bruschi, Bledsoe, Steve Nelson and Steve Grogan, Chris Slade and Willie McGinest… uh, sorry, got a little distracted there. Anyway, this Thursday night kicks off in live and real time the 2015 NFL season as our hometown boys take on Rapelisberger and his Steelers minus starting running back Le’Veon Bell. This, of course, is great news for my fantasy team as I drafted Bell #1 overall and would have faced a serious moral dilemma about starting him and jinxing the boys in Tommy’s big return game. I tried to tell Sully during the draft that he was being a super homer and that he could not take Troy Brown in the sixth round. He said it was a steal. Freakin knucklehead.

So how will you be taking in this Thursday evening’s festivities? I myself will be absorbing a pitcher of Sam Adams through my facial cavities at the Lower Mills Pub with Sully, Jill, and maybe Matty Fitz if he can get off work in time. I think everyone here is expecting big things from the boys this year, what with the burning, itching fire of VD Goodell lighting up everyone’s nuts. On a side note, I have officially tweeted “DEEZ NUTS” to commissioner Roger Goddell 37 times and counting. Why he has not blocked me is still a mystery to me.

Though Revis was a welcome addition last year, no one thought he was gonna retire here. We all knew in our pessimistic little hearts that he was headed back at some point to the Just End Their Season crew.  The real loss this offseason was the big man in the middle of the defense. Sad to see Vinnie go, but if you ain’t seen the pictures of him in farmer’s overalls check our Twitter feed @Massholes617781. We had to add in the 781 because even though Sully likes to claim that he’s from Boston proper he’s actually from Braintree. (“Brainers for life!” yells Sully.)

Everyone’s wondering why we would sign Reggie Wayne, give him half a million bucks, then cut him a week later. I say the guy’s a scam artist who wooed Coach Belichick with the “I’m just a veteran receiver who can be great in the right system” line of courtship that he seems to fall prey to on a seasonally basis.

Hmm, what else… oh yeah: we were talking about Gimpell’s general suckiness in the bar the other night and some loser tried to bring up Spygate and the report from this week’s ESPN Magazine article. I punched that guy right in the freakin teeth.

Anyway, the reason I’ve been asked to guest star for this column is to make my five bold predictions for the World Champion Patriots this season. Hell, if Matthew Berry’s bald ass can make wild calls, so can I. So without furthering a do…

1- I predict that God’s gift to the sport, Tommy Terrific throws more than 650 passes on the season, posting an attempts/game average of more than 40 for the first time in his career. In recent years he’s set career highs with 39.8 in 2012 and 39.2 in 2013. He dipped back down to 36.4 last season but I predict he plays long into many games, grinding an axe intended for Baddell on the backs of opposing defenses.

2- Though he will be the #1 QB in fantasy, when Andrew Luck faces the Pats he will have a completion percentage somewhere south of my high school Biology grade (which I did not pass).

3- After years of NFL irrelevancy Danny Amendola will have his highest reception total on a season since joining the Pats with 55+.

4- Brandon Bolden will have two TD’s in Thursday’s Gm 1. Just got a feeling.

5- Gronk and Scott Chandler will become the most dynamic TE duo since Gronk and… that freakin moron who went to prison. They won’t reach the 2011 tandem-TD mark of 24 but I predict 16-18 TD catches between the two big men.

Bonus- I want Chandler Jones to have 15 sacks. I can’t really call that one a prediction so much as my #1 Christmas gift.

Well folks, that’s all I got for now.  Be sure to tune in every Tuesday night, if you’re within a 10-mile radius of Sully’s basement.  And if you’re up for it join us at the bar for this Thursday’s game (or any game really) where Fitz has this wicked drinking challenge involving Jager, tabasco, and fifteen hard-boiled eggs.  Should be pissah.

Want The Massholes to be carried on Write to those guys and tell them! They seem to think no one wants to see a cable access show with two idiots from Savin Hill but I beg to differ.   Boston sports diehards NEED a place to discuss all their gripes, praises, and what-have-you’s and who better to give you the in-depth coverages of the Beantown sports world?  Felger and Mazz?  Those two goons wouldn’t know Larry Legend from Larry Izzo.  And Sully says he heard from a guy that Felger is a closet Jets fan who puts on his Mark Sanchez jersey late at night and dances around his living room to Barbara Streisand.


The Massholes broadcasts every Tuesday night on Dorchester Cable Access from Sully’s basement.

Autumn in New England

Boston Autumn

As Summer fades and sunny days give way to Autumn’s dawn…

I don a light windbreaker and await a rainy calm…

Throw my hoodies in the laundry, get ’em fresh and clean for Fall…

Make sure pizza, wings, and beer are near, we’re ready for football…

The college kids unload their things from U-Hauls for the dorm…

A lovely shiny sun succumbs to lovelier rain storms…

The forest green of wilderness transforms to multi-color…

As Autumns go, New England’s flow is truly like no other…

The scent of the Atlantic Ocean travels in the breeze…

Through Quincy and the Seaport as we breathe serenity…

And exhale the stress away, relax….

Put on that Boston Red Sox cap…

And catch a Playoff game perhaps…

Or just Fall back and take a nap…

The windows cracked with no A.C. nor heat at sixty-five degrees…

Ideal weather for jogs or walks through city streets and suburb parks…

Pumpkin Spice is back at Dunkees and the Pats back at Gillette…

Yes, it’s Autumn in New England, much better it doesn’t get… 

New England Autumn