Are you Benny or Teddy?

NBA Free Agency – Poetry In Motion

The past week in the NBA off-season has been an eventful one indeed. Several top stars signed contracts that not only solidified their own futures but also reshaped the landscape of the entire league.  While there are still likely several dominoes to fall between now and the trade deadline next February, given the amount of noteworthy activity this past week, I’ve decided to build a post discussing all that player movement. But this isn’t just any old, stale recap and analysis; there’s plenty of that all over the web already. To add a little flavor to the matter at hand, this week’s NBA analysis will be in the form of a poem. That’s right folks; the NBA off-season is officially in full swing and with that in mind, to paraphrase the old In Living Color character, Calhoun Tubbs , “I wrote a poem about it. Wanna read it? Here it goes!”

King James is back in Cleveland, a Cavalier again.
He’s just a kid from Akron, so of course all’s forgiven.
The Decision’s now a memory, thus the fickleness of fans.
Truly tickles me a little ’cause the bitterness of man
Is just transposed from those who love the Cavs to those who love the Heat
Because he chose to take his talents far away from old South Beach.
And now the bloggers speak of growth.
They champion LBJ’s maturity
But had the Spurs gone on to choke
A three-peat brings security.
‘Cause would the King have left his throne with 3 rings to defend?
I’m glad for Cleveland’s fans, but face it, ‘Bron jumped ship again.
‘Cause he didn’t trust his team; no front-court help, a dimming Flash.
Chris Bosh is overrated, poor Dwayne Wade ran out of gas.
So enjoy it while you can Ohio, yes it will be fun
But he signed a two-year deal and can opt out after year one…


That’s enough about Lebron however, what about the rest?
Why on God’s Green Earth did Carmelo just resign with the Knicks?!?!?
Yes, he got a ton more money than he would’ve with the Bulls
And he says his heart is in New York, but face it, that’s all bull.
‘Cause even with Phil Jackson at the helm, the Knicks are far away
From contending for a Championship, so why did ‘Melo stay???
Celebrate good times, New York! Hip Hop Hooray! Rah Rah, they chant!
…The Anthonys are staying because Lala wears the pants…

And though they didn’t land Lala, I mean Carmelo Anthony,
Pau Gasol is now a Bull, to the dismay of one, Kobe.
But fret not, Mr. Achilles Heel. I’m kidding, Mr. Bryant!
Jeremy Lin is now a Laker! Even coal can become diamonds…
All jokes aside however, who’d a thunk back in the day
That the Clippers would surpass the mighty Lakers in L.A?

So what does it all mean? Vince Carter’s leaving Dallas
To become a Memphis Grizzly. Chandler Parsons now a Maverick.
Luol Deng is ‘Bron’s “replacement,” joining forces with Chris Bosh,
While the Bulls pursue Dwayne Wade, he’s from Chicago after all.
And though they signed Lebron, the Cavs aren’t done, some Kevin Love they’d like.
Will they part with Andrew Wiggins? Minnesota thinks they might.

And that leaves my treasured Celtics on the outside looking in.
We’ll be young, and we’ll be fun to watch, but far from a Champion.
Yes the days of Pierce in Green now seem like centuries ago.
‘Cause the truth is that The Truth is now a Wizard, here we go.
All the madness, all the action, dominoes continue falling.
Yes the NBA offseason’s just as fun as when they’re balling.
But despite the player movement down these avenues and curbs,
Let’s remember what’s important, everyone’s chasing the Spurs.
Yes the Model of Consistency, Defending Champs they are.
Has everyone else missed the point? ‘Cause the Spurs have the set bar
With continuity, and selflessness, cohesiveness, and trust.
All these stars maneuver hard, but will these moves prove to be busts?
Only time will tell of course, and sure the NBA has changed.
Yet and still it’s all the same to me because I Love This Game.


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