Certain things are cool. Others aren’t. Don’t do this don’t do that; then you realize everyone is scared and guessing. I don’t have that mindset or possession of blood. I’ve been headstrong in so many things. That gift of inspiration and leadership is now to be cultivated. Do you believe in what you see? It is possible to create and live in the world you desire. Now it is time to have fun at work. When I do. These days off and this recent injury has given me another look at the athlete and artist’s perspective. The athlete and the artist must create/produce; but they must maintain themselves as they are a vessel for creation. And still, the art’s affect on the viewer or intended audience is what is most paramount. I’ve shot rainstorms in the most beautiful canyons in India, and seldom the worm can tell you of the bird’s mouth. Too much time lying down and thinking. Hate em and love ’em, lying and thinking.
Anyway, Sandy was swimming in the pool over there as she usually does in the latter moments of the morning. Her legs are perfect from years of swimming and regular exercise but her mind is just as agile and fit from a consistent regiment of mental training. She’s the topping to all of my days and is wholly my blessing on earth. So be some facets of life. The dog door rustles open and shut. At least someone is getting some fresh air. Grumpiness comes with inaction and instability. I’ve had my own for so long the thought of working for someone else would almost have me sever off my other leg entirely. I woke up in a cold sweat last night reliving the accident again in my dreams I guess. Wish that would stop. Sandy was amazing she woke up drenched herself, changed the sheets then me, then she changed herself made some nachos and brought them back to the bed. My penchant for late night biographies often conjures up some interesting dreams if the television ends up watching me. But these dreams of the accident, recurring so often are beginning to jar me. It’s so hot I need to open a window. I wish I could go outside. The sunlight looks great so full and lush I bet I could get some awesome shots with that amount of light. You don’t really … No you do realize if you’re lucky and smart that you enjoy what you are doing.
Birds chirping outside expressing joy and enjoying the flying feeling of freedom and movement; I am living vicariously through them. A slight breeze comes from God because I don’t believe any one else could have conjured it at that moment. Confusion, doubt, and anger want to creep in and the door is slightly ajar, but this breeze is hope. What is it about not moving in hot spots, cramped with your sweat dripping that makes one think of one’s end? Self pity is for bitches. The last time I couldn’t move and almost felt akin to this I was in a tree in Vietnam… It’s amazing the clarity you can achieve in a treetop on foreign soil with bullets screaming at you with ired precision. I should call for Sandy but I don’t wanna bother her. Ever feel like your mind was sometimes a burden on someone else’s? That’s a thought I shouldn’t have too often but it surfaces. I smell cookies, meaning scents of vanilla bean; Sandy is quite particular about her recipe swearing by the essence of fresh vanilla bean and never using the extract. Such a person who has patience and smells lovely enough to deal with me is a treasure.
“I love you, Charlie…”, she sweetly reminds passing by.
“Boomerang, Darling”, I tag her back with. One of those couples things yeah. “Would you mind a cup of tea, please? Got the taste nearly…”
“Not at all you know, honey..”
“I know.. It cracks me up everytime. But you never know….”
“You’re a goofball I’ve been making you cups for how long now?”
“Hmmm. Not so good at math, but you say you know me”
“You said that.. You’re lucky if somebody loves you and you should definitely learn from the experience as well… Clearly you don’t learn…”
“Hahahaha… So what you saying, I’m lucky?”
“Better believe it. Luckie Chuckie…”
Funny as hell it was and she is. Witty and pretty like that. She damn sure wasn’t lying either. Something up top and only slightly in my noggin later, tethered me tight right here or rather her to me. Truthfully I know. I’m not going anywhere.